All Women Need To Know About…

10/30/201810/30/2018 ~ Chaos With My Coffee ~ 4 Comments

This will for sure be the most controversial of all of my posts THUS far.

I’m going to go there. Women sometimes don’t discuss these things. Brace yourself.

I firmly believe that if you don’t have good girlfriends who tell you about their most TMI moments, share their struggles as well as their secrets, then how the heck are we going to survive?!

I’ll be discussing some AMAZING things I found all on my own through some trial and error. I seriously think all women need to share what helps get them through life. Why be secretive?!

This covers menstrual cups (I hate the word menstrual), period underwear, & comfy bras!

If I haven’t scared you off, then read on!

If I have, then read future blog posts I’ll be making!

PERIOD UNDERWEAR

YES! I said it! P E R I O D underwear. Whether you are 40 or 14 you will benefit from knowing about these babies.

It seems like whenever you get your period its always at the worst times, in your sleep, while you’re out of town, while you’re wearing white pants. The list goes on and ON!

I began experimenting with Natural tampons for about a year because there aren’t any real regulations about what tampons are made of, AND the ingredients (think how they treat the material chemically) doesn’t have to be disclosed on the box.

How troubling is that?! We are literally inserting things in our bodies, where it comes in contact with our flesh month after month. Year after year. We are unknowingly subjecting our bodies to all sorts of chemicals just from having a period.

SO, I didn’t like the idea of wasting expensive hippie brand tampons just on the HUNCH I would start my period while I was sleeping or running errands and wouldn’t be around a bathroom if aunt flo came to town. Enter period panties. It sounds so silly but they’re awesome.

I can’t exactly remember HOW I found out about THINX, but I did. I ordered a few pairs of underwear, and they have SO many varieties now. Tried them out, and I have been using them ever since!

Their website tells us that you can completely avoid tampons and JUST use the underwear. That may work for some people, but for me it didn’t really work. Plus, I don’t really want to be sitting in my own blood for like a week. Too messy and not necessary when you read about my next life hack.

When I DO use the thinx underwear, I use it for the several days leading up to my projected period to bed so if I do (and it always happens) start in my sleep I usually don’t wake up and when I do wake up my sheets are never bloody. I also love them for when I’m on my period and running errands and going to bed so there aren’t any leaks on my sheets or my clothes. It’s the perfect backup barrier method and it gives me peace of mind! The underwear are so comfortable and don’t look like any different than typical underwear! They stand their product and if you have issues, they will refund you.

Give them a try! You just wash them and reuse them! They are lifesaving! Use this code to get $15 off of your order http://ref.thinxify.me/kOihx !

MENSTRUAL CUPS

There are all kinds of articles, studies and controversies about what tampons are made of and what they are treated with in the process. Whether thats bleaching, being made of rayon etc. it bothered me on a deep level that we use tampons that may or may not (most likely may not) be ok for our bodies. With our skin being the largest organ in our bodies, but inserting tampons for probably 30ish years til we hit menopause is concerning. We are subjecting ourselves and our internal organs to (and absorbing) chemicals and who knows what while we are on our periods. If you are curious about any of this google what tampons are made of, obviously make sure you are reading things from credible publishers. Here is one article I found thats not too out there.

So, I looked around for more “natural” approaches. I tried I think EVERY organic tampon on the market. I tried the 365 from whole foods, seventh generation, Luna, L.Organic, Honest Co., Natracare and probably more. They all sucked. There is no real elegant way to put it. They all sucked. They either had a cardboard applicator (which is ridiculous to use), NO applicator, and all of them just weren’t very absorbent. They didn’t really expand like typical tampons do when they are saturated. They were just stubby little nubs that really didn’t change shape and I hated all of them.

I then began to think about my other options. I know they make disposable menstrual cups, but thats still something we have to constantly purchase and then throw away.

I decided to try a menstrual cup. YEP, a menstrual cup. I never EVER thought I would do that, but I did. After having kids, and I know not all women reading this will have had kids, you’re just more comfortable with your body in ways you didn’t think you would be. So, to save time, money, and not be throwing tampons away constantly, I thought I would give it a shot. They say these cups will last at least 3 years. Can you imagine how many tampons you would have used in 3 years?! Its unreal. There are plenty of them on the market, you just have to get in there (yes, I just said that) and try some!

I used a diva cup and I didn’t really like it. But I stuck with it, and because all of our bodies are different I tried one from faithful old amazon, that offered free returns, as gross as that sounds. Its called the BLOSSOM CUP.

Let me tell you, it’s been a game changer! I almost forget that I’m ON my period, aside from my insane moodswings and irrational behavior – but thats another story!

Menstrual cups are made of medical grade silicone and resist bacterial growth, which is why they last so long. There goes your risk of TSS from regular tampons as the absorbency increases. You can go as much as 12 hours before changing your cup! I know you are probably thinking, ya right. BUT, don’t knock it til you try it. That means you would change the cup TWICE a day!! WHAT??!??!

I love that even if you’re not home a lot, in a 12 hour timespan, odds are you will be home in the morning and at night. So you could easily change your cup in the privacy of your home as you head out the door in the morning, and when you come home at night. No more leaking in your sleep, no more tampons to change every 2-4 hours! PLUS, wearing your thinx underwear as backup you won’t ever get messy again!

There are all kinds of different ways to insert the cup, and its really not any harder than a tampon once you get the hang of it, you just have to stick with it and try for 2 or so cycles. If you google how to fold and insert a menstrual cup, you just have to try (ideally before you’re on your period) and see which way goes in easier for you.

I personally like the punchdown fold, you just grab one of the edges with your finger and push down. It will make that shape. Hold that still with your fingers, and insert like a tampon. You will (like I said after childbirth and trying to conceive you do weird things) feel where your cervix is and just leave it right there. You will let go, it will open up AROUND your cervix and it stays put with natural suction. Its pretty cool, and probably sounds gross to read but its amazing. Emptying is easy, you just grab the cup with your fingers, pull out and dump the blood into the toilet. Rinse it off if you want, and reinsert. Its actually interesting to see the quantity you bleed, and you will learn a lot about your cycle by physically seeing it in the cup, and I think we all need to know these things about our bodies to be good advocates for ourselves and our health.

I love that I save so much time with using it, that it saves money, and that it makes my life easier. If you struggle with tampons and the pains of periods, give it a shot. You will probably be pleasantly surprised. Read more about menstrual cups here

Comfy Bras

This is a much lighter topic. No more blood, cups, or period talk.

I’m home a lot of the time as a SAHM, and I usually wear sports bras. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. But I wanted a bra that didn’t have uncomfortable straps or anything itchy etc. and I found True&Co!

They have SO many different types of bras its unreal! I also love the fact that they don’t objectify women in their advertising like another popular company. Its all about women, and being comfortable and still feeling like a woman. For once I wanted underwear that wasn’t for someone else. The bras I picked were not lingerie by any means, but MAN are they comfortable! They are seamless in design, no underwire (and they make some with that too), nothing rough or tight, and they had removable pads when you wash the bra.

They just came out with an actual sports bra design and I of course bought those too!

There is V-Neck, Scoopneck, racer back, you name it! I love that whatever you’re looking for its there. I was looking for comfort and I found it. I can wear these bras under my regular clothes outside of the house or inside lounging around and I was never uncomfortable or felt like anything was digging into my skin. I hate that.

So check out their website. They offer free returns and you can get $15 off your order with this code https://my.trueandco.com/x/dfTOZt

These are my faves

True Body Scoop Neck Adjustable Strap

True Body Triangle Racerback

True Body Triangle Convertible Strap

True Body V Neck Bra

Thats all I have! Hopefully you enjoyed, or got some amusement out of this post and my experiments!

The #MOMLIFE reality that isn’t trendy

09/01/201809/01/2018 ~ Chaos With My Coffee ~ Leave a comment

If you are a new mom, a mom of small children or just in a new phase of life, odds are you are not unfamiliar with the feeling of loneliness.

Everyone always recites that cliché saying “your whole life changes when you become a mom” right? You hear it, and it passes in one ear and out the next. Honestly though, your life changes in ways you totally did NOT see coming. I could write a bazillion, yes I said bazillion, posts about the ways your life changes after being a mom from postpartum bodies, sleep deprivation, to succumbing to a messy house. But what I’m wanting to write about is how you mentally change. Yes, there is postpartum depression and that’s a very real thing that so many women have to deal with, but there are plenty of women who are undiagnosed (and may or may not have ppd) and struggle with LONELINESS.

The loneliness you start to feel creep in is subtle, but its real. Here you are a new mom, you’re adjusting to a whole range of things like how to keep this child alive, how to function on 3 hours of sleep, how to adapt to your changing body, how to breastfeed, how to formula feed if breastfeeding didn’t work out, how to not guilt yourself, its ENDLESS. At the end of the day, I’m sure you are left feeling lonely and like no one else is struggling like you and you’re the only one that understands you in these moments. You probably feel like other moms have this all figured out and they’re just coasting through life with their bffs and loving life. This was one of the lies I let my self believe for too long.

I wanted to be a young mom, to basically do the opposite of my parents (who were older than most parents) and start a family young. When I did though, I of course knew I changed my life, but the change I didn’t see coming was in my friendships. I was the first of my “friends” to get married, first to have kids, and because of those things I was just in a different phase of life than anyone else. That alone separates you and puts you in a different category than your friends. I felt myself not connecting the way I used to, and it just made me feel lonely. I got in my head and questioned if I had made a mistake wanting to make these big life choices earlier than people I knew. I was left feeling empty, lonely, and just sad a lot of the time. Those feelings weighed on me, like a weight on my shoulders I carried around with all of the other things I was juggling at the time… like being a mom and a wife.

So for about 4 years I didn’t really connect with women like I wanted to. I felt different, I didn’t feel like I had any real friends, and I was just bound to my house as a slave to the nap schedule of my child. When we had our second child, our lives had to adjust to the new addition and when he was close to one, someone mentioned to me casually that I should attend a MOPS group. I responded to.. um what the heck is that?!

MOPS stands for Mothers Of Preschoolers. Typically MOPS groups are ran through churches across the nation, but I (at the time) was not a person who had been to church. I did not grow up attending church, and the idea was pretty foreign to me. But, I was feeling lonely, and I thought, there was some promise in the idea that moms met 2 times a month, who were just like me in this unique phase of life with small people to chase after day in and day out. A few months earlier, I had started my first online bible study through some ladies in a direct sales company I worked for at the time, and felt I was semi- prepared to enter into a church environment because I had been doing that for a few weeks. So I asked around on facebook who attended a “MOPS” group, and I did get a couple responses and looked one of them up and went to their park play date sign up. I hesitantly walked up to a table with a big sign and signed myself up for “MOPS” and whatever that was.

I have been apart of MOPS for 5 years now, and unless we have another baby, then this will be my last year. Truthfully, I wish I would have known about it SOONER! That first year, I was a new-ish mom and didn’t have any connections or friendships, I struggled with loneliness, and I became SO connected and had life breathed back into me!

I sat at an amazing table of 7 other women and one mentor mom, who happened to be the head of women’s ministry at that church. It was a life changing year. It sounds so corny, but just going to those meetings, and listening to the speakers, the videos, and other moms at my table and not at my table revitalized me. Suddenly, I was not some leper cast away on an island to live alone, but I was JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. Other moms struggled with not feeling like they are enough, and feeling like they were one timeout away from losing their minds.

That year I made lasting friendships, and to this day, 5 years later I still call most of them great friends. Several of them have “aged out” of MOPS and their kids aren’t in the 0-5 year range, but I still text and connect with them on a pretty regular basis. Each year I met amazing women and it truly opened up a door for me to see that I am not alone.

If you are feeling at all like how I felt, and this is how you are hearing about MOPS, you should look on their website and connect with a local chapter and GO! You can look for a group here. Nothing is holding you back but yourself and your fear. If I hadn’t walked up to that table at that park play date and let fear paralyze me then I wouldn’t have made any of the friendships or connections that I have over these last few years and my life would be SO different. No one can support you, or understand you like a fellow mom. Don’t let yourself live isolate and feeling lonely.

We are meant to live in connection with each other and not apart from each other.

With this most likely being my last year at MOPS, and with it being the beginning of the year, it got me thinking about my time there and left me with the feeling that I needed to write about MOPS. Maybe there is a mom who will read this who is feeling just like I felt.

This year’s theme for MOPS is called “FIND YOUR FIRE”, and its so fitting. Most of us let our fires go out when we become moms because we have to do so many new things and we lose ourselves. Don’t let yourself make that mistake, because our fires were not meant to be extinguished.

“Never let your fire go out. When you hope, be joyful. When you suffer, be patient. When you pray, be faithful. Share with God’s people who are in need. Welcome others into your homes.” Romans 12:11-1 NIV

Lies We Tell Ourselves

08/01/201808/03/2018 ~ Chaos With My Coffee ~ Leave a comment

Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves as moms and women?

Why?!

I think there have been subtle changes in our society, and even our thinking, almost conditioning us to the point of believing we are not enough. I am so tired of it. I am fed up that I second guess myself all of the time.

“Am I making the right decision?”

“Should I be doing more?”

“Am I doing enough by staying home?”

“Should I work outside my home?”

“Should I work less?”

“ I should have this more together by now.”

These feelings play like a broken record on a loop in my mind.

They’re rooted in lies. Each one of them.

We feel we can’t just “stay home” with our kids, if that’s what we choose. We should be doing more with our time at home, because as a stay at home mom all you have is extra time since you JUST stay home.

If you’re a working mom you need to have the perfect balance of home life, and you somehow need to climb the corporate ladder effortlessly.

This isn’t just something moms do, even women who aren’t moms struggle with needing to be the best, conquer the world and basically kill it at life and embody Wonder Woman.

The list goes on and on. But why?!

We are rarely comfortable in our situations and with our decisions.

It’s exhausting, and these lies we tell ourselves are ridiculous.

We battle with this feeling, this constant pull from social media, and society to take life to the next level all the time. This feeling is just the pull from the world, and its is a race we will not win. We have to stop the crazy game we play in our minds and just remind ourselves of the truth that WE ARE ENOUGH, just as we are, however that may be.

*****

We need to push against the current of todays world and slow our minds down, slow our lives down and be grateful and satisfied with where our lives are, because He orchestrated it.

One of my favorite pieces of scripture is Jeremiah 29:11, NIV “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He has plans for us and we are all carefully guided into different places and situations in our lives according to His plan.

We need to Trust in Him and not try to juggle a million things all the time. I need to repeat this to myself a million times each day.

The times I find myself feeling frazzled, which is more often than I’d like, I know I need to slow down. SLOW DOWN.

*****

I reflect on what He has given me, I remind myself NOT to focus on what I need to achieve or cross off on my to do list, but really be present (that’s such a hard thing for me) and reprioritize.

Sadly, this is a problem that’s becoming an epidemic in our society and I know I’m not alone.

We’re told it’s not ok to slow down, or even admit you’re not in control for that matter.

I know I am enough, because He tells me I am. I need to remind myself of this truth when I’m struggling with life, and I fall into the all too familiar cycle of hectic life.

I am a child of God. I am more than my resume of accomplishments and what I can post about on social media.

This is a constant battle, a war that wages inside of me daily. I know I will be victorious because of His mercy and forgiveness that He offers to us all. All we need to do is ask. Stop, slow down, and pray.

If we don’t say these lies aloud, that all we struggle, that it’s OK to not DO IT ALL, each one of us, whether we are working, stay at home, single, married, divorced, whatever your situation is; then we are fooling ourselves.

We are fooling ourselves and each other if we let ourselves believe that struggle isn’t a part of life, and that you have to do it all. Whether you are working, whether you start at home, are single, married, divorced, widowed, whatever your situation is don’t let yourself be fooled. We all struggle, we don’t have to do it all!

Stop believing the lies, and take the burdens you place on yourself off of your shoulders.

Instead, believe that each one of us is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and that YOU matter.

Today, choose to tell yourself three things

I am enough.
I am where I am supposed to be.
I am a child of God.

Knowing you are those things are all you should be focused on and anything else is just not essential. Take the burdens off of yourself mama, slow your mind down if you feel like your drowning in guilt and to do lists, and just BE.

Share this with any momma or friend who you know should hear this.